There she was.. Amidst hungry people, who were gobbling up whatever the ‘Chat Street’ in Basavangudi was throwing at them. “She looks gorgeous”, you realise. “She is perfect for me”, you tell yourself. You have spoken to her before. In fact, it was one of the greatest conversations you have ever had with another woman.
Dose, Idly, Bhel Puri, Pav Bhaji, Bajji and what not!
Every guy has met a woman.. The woman.
The number doesn’t necessarily have to be restricted to one. After all, if people were allowed to fall in Love only once, the species would have died off long back or the world would be filled with Devdasses. Do not believe Bollywood propaganda..
One meets her either in a Party, or in College, or a place you had been for an interview. She is either your colleague, or classmate, or neighbour, or met her at the Gym. The world is full of possibilities.
You have seen her before, much before you actually spoke to her – in BMS Engineering College fest years ago; after that in a friend’s Birthday Party; after that in some Engagement party your parents managed to drag you into. Every time the reaction was the same – you froze and were mesmerized.
Brain stops working, you are dumfounded as to what to do next
Each time the urge to go talk to her was immense, which was only overwhelmed by the fear of saying something stupid and losing the battle of the nerves and.. the chance to make a decent impression.
Natural Selection
The thing is: she is not the prettiest woman you were attracted to. But, a certain indescribable quality sets her apart, something which even you can’t explain to yourself. Its like Nature is crying out : She is the perfect mate for you, Human Being!
Love is all Science, you see. Do you think you chose your mate because of Love? How naive..
Nature probably knows more about you than yourself. It knows, for instance, that you are not the most attractive guy out there and is hinting that you should settle down with someone who is more suited to your ugliness.
Nature: Perfect for each other!
You are 6 (on the scale of 1 to 10) and you expect an 8? Aase olledu, duraase kettaddu(due to lack of proper knowledge of either English and/or Kannada, I am unable to translate.. Hoping to get some help soon).
Karma is a bitch!
As luck would have it, it would not be long before you meet her, this time at a friend’s wedding. As always, she looked radiant. This time it was different. This time a friend manages to drag you and introduce you to all her friends and ‘she’ happens to be one of them.
Yaay!
Life is colourful again!
You quickly get working. You are charming(after years of mental practice, you are finally ready.. You have trained for this and now its time to put it into practice), have managed to make her laugh. Her natural charm is making you comfortable and the conversation is enthralling. Her smile is so disarming, but you keep at it.
You discuss all the right things: Your common friend who just introduced you, other friends you realise both have in common, the latest Aamir Khan movie (She turns out to be Shahrukh Khan fan and you realise he is not that bad after all.. After all Swades – She laughs at your pronunciation of ‘Swades’ – was pretty awesome!), how you and her both miss college life (Oh shit! Another commonality!), where she works, where you work, where she lives, where you live.. “Did you go to the Soul Sante? Wasn’t it amazing!”
“OMG! She is the cousin of a cousin of my friend, whom I know since ages. This is so meant to be!”
You are in love. You are bowled over and the bowler is a 5 foot something, female, looking stunning in a Red Saree and getting her fill of Mosaranna (Curd Rice) right now. The bowler’s secret weapon : No freaking idea!
She is everything you aspire to be like and more – She ignites in you to be a better version of yourself!
“Our kids will have her looks and my brains, hopefully”. “Ok, what should I do next?”.
“Should I tell my friend whose marriage it is, that I have a thing for her friend? Naah, she will be busy with, I don’t know, with the wedding?”
Sketch haaku
“Lets ask her out for a movie!”. The heart is running a race, you look at your male friend who smells something is fishy, who asks, “Yen maam? Yen vishya?(Whats up?)”
You nod your head as to indicate nothing is up and start working on your master plan.
Clubbing? Unsure if she likes it. Lets go to the beach! Too bad, its very far. “Why the hell doesn’t Bangalore have beaches?”. Dinner? Too Hollywood-ey. Bowling? No, there is a good chance I might suck; Can’t risk it. Paint ball! Need too many people. Invite her home for lunch to meet my parents? Not appropriate, too soon. Take her to the secret nature get-away! Might sound creepy. Need a public place for the first date.
Coffee? Good option, but need more than that..
Movie? No, no good Hindi movie in the theatres. Krrrrrish 3, you have promised yourself, you will never ever ever watch in your lifetime and you just know she feels the same.
“Kannada movie? Hmm.. Beda, level hog bidathe.”.
“OK ok.. English movie, then”. Its settled.
“So.. What plans for the weekend?”, you ask hopefully.
“Umm.. I don’t know, shop for a while and maybe catch Gravity with my Fiancé?”.
Trying not to look sad, after hearing some shocking news
Your heart sinks..
Back from flashback
“Yen sakkathagiddale, sisya!(Dude, she is so pretty!)”, you tell your cousin, who is happily married and is currently munching on some delicious Idlies. He gives her a glance and quickly realises his plate is empty and goes for a refill. Clearly, she didn’t make much of an impression on him, or that he indeed is happily married.
You wonder “Are recently married and happily married the same things?”
“Look at her.. Laughing without a care in the world. Man, isn’t she perfect for me!”. You remind yourself of an unmodifiable fact and snap back to reality.
As always, nothing happens, you finish hogging and get in the Car after having one last look at her. “Yella nan Karma“.
pinkkaage 